Life Decisions...

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I have made the decision to move back to St. Louis after I graduate this December.  This is not my first choice, but it will lead me to what I really want.  But do I really know what I really want?  I digress, this is not the point of this entry.  Anyhow, I will be heading back to St. Louis for about a year.   I will be going to graduate school part time and (hopefully) working full time.

Why is this my decision?  Well, Graduate School is expensive.  Going to Graduate School out of state is really expensive.  Unfortunately, I do not have the money to move across the country and attend school.  I'm going to do the trendy thing and move back home and work at a place that I am over-qualified for (hello, waiting tables!).

I'm going to be honest, coming to terms with this decision is difficult.  I panicked.  All of these terrible thoughts kept popping into my head: What if I get stuck in Missouri forever?  If I chose a different major, maybe I would not be in this situation.  I can't live at home!  It'll be just like high school!  WHAT IF I GET STUCK IN MISSOURI FOREVER!?!?!?!  I am convinced that Missouri is the Bermuda Triangle - once you are here, you can't leave!  But, this is only temporary.  I will not get stuck in Missouri forever.  After I stopped crying on the phone with my mom, I readjusted my attitude and thought of the positive things:

• Living at home = No rent (or very little rent!)
• I get to spend my days with Sophie! (I will be maintaining a Facebook Fan Page for her when I move back)
• My BFFs are in St. Louis!  I get to see them whenever I want!
• I won't be in Springfield
• St. Louis has a lot of free opportunities (Art Museum, Zoo, History Museum)
• Better job opportunities (I probably won't be waiting tables)
• I'll have time to really decide where I want to live my adult life (California?  Arizona?  Be a jet-setter?)
• Time to travel???  Road trip??? IDK.

Overall, this is the smart, grown up decision.  I have come to terms with it.  That's a lie.  I still want to get out of here ASAP.  But this is only temporary and everything will work out.  And when things get tough, I will just bake (because that is what I do when I am stressed out).

What is My Life?

"WHAT IS MY LIFEEEE???" is something I ask myself frequently.  Usually, its part of my internal monologue.  Once in a while, I vocalize it and follow the statement with "I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"

A lot of things are coming up.  BIG THINGS.  Graduate school application deadlines (!!!) are coming up quick.  I need to finish getting my stuff together so I can actually graduate.  I also need to figure out where I am going to live and HOW I'm going to do it.  I  barely was able to move myself down to Springfield, which is only a three hour drive from home.  How will I move myself across the country? So many questions!

How do I get this life?

Sometimes (actually all of the time) I like to make alternative plans.  These plans tend to be crazy and unrealistic or drab and underachieving.  The latter is because its the easy way out (aka: "if nothing goes right, this is my plan z").  The former is my favorite, but its usually a waste of time.  For example, here are a few of my fun alternate plans:

• Become a face character at Disneyland.  Preferably Ariel or Mary Poppins
• Pick up all of my stuff and move to LA and attend Graduate School online
• Become a professional pie maker 
• Backpack across Europe
• Learn how to hula hoop with hoops that are ON FIRE.  Join a carnival.  Go to Burning Man?
• Live a penniless existence in Chicago and work at a vintage store downtown
• Live in a musical.  Preferably A Very Potter Musical

Unrealistic.  

Embarrassing Unrelated Fact: I like to think about fictional characters that I can relate with.  Usually, it's Disney characters.  Lately, I feel more like Rolly from 101 Dalmations instead of Belle (who I relate with the most).  Why Rolly?  I feel like the most common phrase that comes out of my mouth at least five times daily is "But I'm still hungry!" And then I ask myself "What is my lifeeee?"  I am so glad I was able to bring that full circle.

I've been MIA

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Friends, I apologize for being MIA.  I have been super busy working and interning; any free time I had was devoted to studying for the GRE or catching up on sleep (four hours a night is average for me).  However, I should not be as tied up anymore.

• I took the GRE last week.  It was the hardest thing I've done in my life.  I never plan on taking it again.  
• Since the GRE, I have been rather under the weather.  I have truly burned the candles at both ends.  My body wants a break from everything, it seems.
• I am going home this weekend for the first time in months!  Its a much needed break for myself.

Overall, things have been great, but super busy.  Hopefully I will start feeling better, soon!

In the mean time, I've been dreaming of moving, working on my fake tan, and trying to be in love with life.

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Getting my sh*t together

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Reader, these past couple of months for me has been a fail.  This past academic year killed me.  So, these last few weeks, I've been barely functioning like I should.  However, today feels much different.  I finally feel like I am energized and ready to tackle all of the things I've been putting off.

What I have done:

• I FINALLY registered for the GRE.  I will be taking it at the end of the month.  My prep includes studying for the exam everyday for a minimum of three hours a day (spread out throughout the day).  Taking this test makes me absolutely nervous!  Its a very expensive test, so I NEED to do well on it the first time so I don't have to take it ever again.  And, I obviously need to do well so I can get into school.
• Played with my schedule for my final semester of school.  Double check to see everything is in line.  Fix everything that needs to be in line.
• Attempt to get my apartment stuff in line.  
• Completely unpacked and organized my summer room (it was BAD for such a long time, let me tell you)
• Got my summer job and volunteering in line.
• Wrote detailed to do lists for each school that I am applying to.  My first deadline is September 1st!  Its very exciting, but very scary at the same time.  Mostly on the scary side because this is my future!

It feels good to be productive and positive again.  These next few months are going to fly by fast, so I really need to get a hold on EVERYTHING! 

Graduate School: Deciding Where to Live

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Applying for graduate schools is coming up quick.  If you have been reading my blog since the beginning, you may have noticed that my list of graduate schools keeps changing.  Over the past six months or so, a lot of things in my life have changed, so the things I want for myself has changed with it.  I am definitely in a different place in my life than I was in January.  I now have a better opportunity to branch out and live somewhere completely foreign and outside of my comfort zone.

I have lived in Missouri for the last 10 years, so I do want to leave the state.  Before moving to Missouri, I grew up in California.  Although I love California, I do not think this is the time for me to move back there.  My choices for graduate schools are limited.  Only 60-ish schools offer an ALA (American Library Association) accredited degree program.  The limitations are a blessing and a curse: It narrows down the schools by a lot, but not all of the locations are places that I want to live.

At the moment, I have a list of the top 25 schools posted on my wall.  I have also compiled a list of ideal living conditions.  For instance, I want to live somewhere that does not have snow as part of the weather.   I also want to live in a bigger city with a diverse population.  A great public transportation system would be great since I absolutely HATE driving.  I also do not plan on living in the city I attend graduate school permanently (mainly because I want to travel and not get tied down to just one place).

With the following criteria, I have narrowed down (again) the following schools: University of Hawaii, University of Arizona, and Florida State University.  All places experience absolutely no snow, which makes me very happy!

University of Hawaii:

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Clearly, Hawaii is very beautiful.  I actually created a Hawaii vision board on Pinterest to imagine living there. The downsides of going to Hawaii is that it is VERY expensive to move and live there.  Also, I would be thousands of miles away from my immediate family.  I do have some extended family that lives over there, so it would be great to visit and get to know them better.  Also, I really do like the program offered at University of Hawaii.  And, the campus is absolutely beautiful and breathtaking.  This is my first choice because I think it would be an amazing experience for me to partake in and will challenge me to be more independent and brave.

University of Arizona

From the UA website

From what I can see from the internet, Tucson is very beautiful and so is the University of Arizona campus.  I think overall, this campus and city would be the wisest choice for me to make.  The city is very big.  Oh, and since its part of a desert climate, snow is not normally part of the weather pattern.  I am close to California so I can visit my family.  The tuition and cost of living is not outrageous like Hawaii.  I like this school a lot, but it does not captivate me like the idea of moving to Hawaii.

Florida State University

This school is in Tallahasse, Florida.  Its population is about 100,000 people.  The city dynamic is definitely a lot smaller than what I would like.  However, the campus of the school is absolutely breathtaking and the city looks very charming.  I am also fond of the program.

My issue is that I really like all three of these schools, and if/when I get accepted to these schools, I do not know which one I would chose to attend.  This graduate school process is absolutely daunting.  This is two years of my life!  So, we will see what happens!  As the months progress and I turn in all of my applications, I will find out where I will go!

Things I Love Thursday - The End is NEAR!

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Hi Friends!  This week has been really busy and productive.  This is the first time in a while that I felt truly in control of everything.  Its been a fantastic week!  Here is what makes my heart race faster:

* Exploring Graduate School options.  I have changed my list, guys.  University of Hawaii is my first choice.  Can you imagine living in HAWAII???  I think this would be a great experience for me, and it will last two years!  Another school I added is Florida State University.  Do you notice a trend? Endless summer and beaches!  I am tired of snow and cold weather.  I am perfectly fine with 60-90 degree weather all year round.

* Waking up for my 8:30 class everyday this week!  Guys, its been hard waking up for this class; I cannot function before 9:30...at the earliest!  I only have two more classes at 8:30 for the semester, and I'll never have to take an early class EVER AGAIN.

*Writing new goals and getting rid of any of the negativity in my life.  This semester has been really hard, and I have found myself throwing lonely pity parties for myself which is NO GOOD.  I have stopped this behavior and have added healthy, positive thoughts and actions back into my life.  Also, knowing that this semester from hades is almost over makes everything a lot better, too!

Smaller things:
* My horoscope on Tuesday: "Your love life has been a bit disappointing lately, Aquarius, you may want to assess some of your choices..." * Positive tarot readings * Fake Tan!!! * Getting my housing placement for the summer! (its the building I hoped for!) * White teeth * Planning things to cook in the apartment! * Dress weather! * 1960s Pop music * Being charming and meeting charming people * Secret (and not so secret) plans for myself *

Links I Liked:
Sex in the movies
Easy Retro Hair!
Are you a scanner?  I am!





This Movie:

Things I Love Thursday!

I have been absent from this blog due to the fact that the previous week was my Spring Break.  I spent my time helping my family move houses, so I barely had time to do much of anything (oh, like homework or sleep).  Needless to say, I am still exhausted from a very busy week.  BUT, I have a lot of great and exciting things to share!

Spring is almost here!

Things of Note:

• I went to the Mizzou Graduate School information session.  I am absolutely EXCITED about that particular program.  Now, I am creating a plan on how to study for the GRE so I can finally take it before August.  
• I had a job interview today and I get to interview someone tomorrow!  Also, my summer internship interview is next Tuesday!  I am very excited about all of these opportunities! (And investing in interview clothes!  Yes!)
• I joined FitDay, a free website that calculates the calories, protein, fat, etc you consume everyday and other nutritional facts.  It also records exercise information and calculates that with what you ate.  You can track weight loss or weight gain on it too!  A very handy website, indeed!
• I got glasses so now I can read signs when I drive and read powerpoint presentations in class without any struggle.  And I look sassy while being able to see clearly!
• I have given up eating out at restaurants (including fast food) for Lent.  I plan on saving money and not gaining weight because of this.  Also, this changes what Matt and I do for date night, so I am trying to think of new things to do during this time.

Smaller Things:
Matt going shopping with me and being a good sport about it * PoHo * Fitting back into my favorite interview slacks * Discovering that I eat enough protein everyday * Naps when sleeping in is not an option * Thinking of new activities to partake in * The lovely spring weather * Feeling positive overall about the future * Silly dreams * Mother/Daughter dates to the Art Museum * Dinner with friends who live in different cities *  Matt overall: he is very supportive and wonderful, and also very handsome!  How lucky am I? (Mushy I know!) *

That is what is going on in my life.  What lovely things are you experiencing?

Goal Check In!

Can you believe it? February is almost over!  I am definitely dumbfounded at how quickly this month has flown by!  So, I think its time to discuss my goals and how I've been doing with accomplishing the goals.

Rus Anson

Lets start with the goals that fell short:

• I have fallen off the p90x wagon.  This is about the time last semester that I fell off, too.  Its getting to that time where mid-semester projects are due and mid-terms follow shortly after that.  
• My eating habits haven't been the best this month.  Valentine's day quickly followed my birthday, so Matt and I did a lot of celebrating (candy, delicious cooked meals, cupcakes, etc).  Also, I am a stress eater, so when the working out went out the window because of school work, my intake of food increased.  Uh oh.

Here are some successes:

• Although I have stopped p90x, I have already lost 1 1/2 inches along my waist, an inch on each thigh, two inches around my bust, and an inch around my hips.  I think that is something to celebrate :)
• Yes, February has been filled with candy eating, but I have also tried to eat healthy. I try to stock my fridge with salad, fruit, and other veggies for lunch and dinner.  I eat granola when I am between classes and drink Instant Breakfast every morning for breakfast (duh).  I am still fiddling with my caloric intake.  One of the residents that live in my building is a nutritionist and a trainer, so we talk a lot about food and exercise.  Through him, I am readjusting my diet.
• My morning routine goal is actually pretty successful.  I wake up every morning between 7:00 and 9:00.  I only sleep in on the weekends (this weekend was a doozy, let me tell you), but I've been trying to wakeup at a consistent time.  I have not increased my time wasting activities, unfortunately.  That is another thing I need to take care of.
• Finding a place to live: This is about to be taken care of.  My future roommate Kyla and I have been apartment hunting, and that was our big task over the weekend.  We looked at a TON of apartments.  We still have a couple more that we want to look at, but we found two that we REALLY like for a decent price.  
• Funding a place to live: This semester, I have been trying to be more responsible with my money and trying to stop senseless spending.  I have put aside a bit of money for the apartment, and I am beginning to feel more comfortable about getting a place.
• Finding a job: Oh, its going :)  My mom and I had a great conversation about it tonight, and I feel very optimistic about what I am going after.
• Graduate School: I am actually looking at more details of the Graduate Schools that I want to go to.  This weekend I plan on narrowing down my choices to four so I can do things to apply for them (like take the GRE and write those admission essays!).

I feel fairly optimistic and rejuvenated to complete these goals.  Nothing but the best is in my future!  All aboard the success train!

New Beginnings...

I am embarking on a blog journey, which is inspired by my friend Celia's blog.

Ever since I could write, I have journaled in some form. Writing helps organize my thoughts and make plans.  So, I have taken to the web to write about the goals I have set for myself this year, the progress I will make, and the results (be it positive or negative).

The biggest goal for me is to become healthier.  As a college student that works in Residential Life, I have fallen into the funk of eating unhealthy in the dining facilites and spending money on Taco Bell.  My body has been feeling terrible.  The increase in eating grease laden food and the decrease in overall physical activity has caused me to gain 8 pounds over the last semester (after initially losing it and gaining it again).  I plan on losing 15 pounds over the semester by preparing my own food, not eating in the dining halls, only eating out once a week (during Date Night), and by starting p90x.  I attempted p90x last semester, and I benefited from it, but it fell to the wayside during midterms and finals.  I only got about halfway through Phase II.  This time, I will conquer p90x!

Another goal I have set for myself is to change my morning routine.  My mornings are wasted by repeatedly hitting the snooze button and then panicing when class starts in 10 minutes.  I want my mornings to be productive;  I want to spend time in the morning waking up calmly.  I want my routine to consist of writing (since I tend to have the best ideas in the morning) and reading for fun. I want to record my life. This means I need to be prepared for the day the night before.  Hopefully, this will curb procrastination, allow me to be fully alert for class, and decrease time wasting activities.  

My last goal is the biggest goal.  This semester, I need to: Find a place to live, figure out how to fund place to live, apply to graduate school, study and take the GRE, figure out how to pay for graduate school, and chose the graduate school I want to attend.  This is the scariest goal for me since there is a lot of uncertainty.  Do I want to live back home?  Do I want to go out of state?  How will this effect my relationships?  Where do I want to live after grad school?  What should I do about my boyfriend and me?  What will make me happiest in the long run?  I need to take things step by step.  I have narrowed down my choices to about seven schools.  I have a plan of action, but I still feel extremely lost.

Anyhow, those are the goals that I have set for myself.  I have a feeling that 2011 will be a fantastic year, and that I will be successful in whatever I embark on.